What If?

Dear Parents in Support of School Reopening,

The current debate amid our global pandemic is whether we should allow students to go back to school face-to-face or virtually? Some say, “Virtual until it’s safe!”; some say, “Kids need face-to-face no matter what!” I struggle with this debate so intensely that it keeps me up at night. No, I don’t struggle about which side I am on. I struggle with the fact that this is a debate at all.

I have a unique perspective on death, dying, and illness. In 2006, I lost my sister to suicide. The following month I had a brain aneurysm rupture and spent months in ICU. I was already unconscious when I was strapped into the life flight. But, I remember waking up briefly, hearing the sounds of the helicopter and thinking I can’t die and leave my family.  

I now have a seven year old daughter — and I cannot imagine the pain and fear my mother felt. Actually, I can imagine it, but it hurts to even imagine myself in her shoes.  

My point is, though probably confusing at this point, life is fragile and fleeting. The reason I am making this point is that we are in the middle of an unpredictable and often deadly global pandemic. I can’t stress enough: GLOBAL PANDEMIC. COVID-19 is a new virus that we are still learning about. Children absolutely get the disease, and they will absolutely spread it. Frankly, no one will ever convince me that a human child cannot get and spread the disease, like some people are trying to convince us. I could die, you could die, your child could die, your mother could die, and yeah...we could also be fine.

I want you to understand how gut wrenchingly painful it is to lose someone close to you. I want you to understand that if you end up very sick and need medical care, it will be devastating and will change your life and the life of your child. I want you to understand that even the smallest percentage of deaths is still deaths, and over the past 4 months, the number of deaths has been shocking. It is more shocking than the flu or any other disease we humans can get.  

I want you to understand that teachers, school administrators and school staff have been there for you and your children. We have protected them; we have loved them; we have spent our time and money on them; we have prepared to guard them if a school shooter comes in; we have prepared to keep them safe in a hurricane or tornado; we have dedicated our lives to your kids. 

Now we are asking for you to help us with this. We are still going to educate your children, and we will do the absolute best we can for your kids. We always do. Please remember that we are human, and some of us are going through chemo, have asthma, care for our own elderly family members, and some of us are just scared of what COULD happen to any one of us. I urge you to stand with us because you make more of a sound when you speak out to the world.

I’ve already fought for my life. What if I don’t have any more fight in me?

What if?

What if should be enough for every single person in this country.

Yours,

Rachel Nash

Rachel Nash is a middle school teacher in Texas.